Former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson can add a new adjective to his long list of descriptors: bankrupt. The unpredictable, manic-depressive, violent, wannabe child-eater jailbird filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in a Manhattan courtroom Friday.
Tyson reportedly has earned over $300 million from his in-the-ring bouts, but has paid dearly for his more frequent street brawls and misogynistic antics. Through a combination of personal extravagance and mismanagement, Iron Mike's finances have been pummeled. Given this unfortunate outcome, and because we're just such nice people, we're offering up ten tips to help Tyson mend his messy ways.
10. Offer rights to Fox for reality series about your romantic life. Potential title: "Who Wants to Marry a Convicted Sociopathic Broke Man?"
9. While saving money by not eating out too often is one of the principles of "Living Below Your Means," Evander Holyfield's ear doesn't count as a free meal. In the future, restrict the eating of ears to corn only.
8. More Zoloft, less Soho loft. Check out our Home Center for more help.
7. Sell Bengal tigers to brother-in-weirdness Michael Jackson.
6. Auction "Dates with Mike" on eBay (NASDAQ:EBAY), bundled with a Taser stun gun.
5. World Wrestling Entertainment (NYSE:WWE) is always hiring loud, scary-looking, angry men.
4. Publish a series of children's books. First title: Tattoo Your Head Like Mike Tyson.
3. Move to a country that allows cock fighting and jump back into the ring.
2. Fire current financial managers for blowing all your money at the track and sign up for TMF Money Advisor's independent help, advice, and analysis.
1. To cut back on judgment expenses, try beating people up in the ring for a change.
