Get Real, ABC

Did you watch the premiere of Celebrity Mole: Yucatan last night? Of course you didn't. Beyond budding bachelors and bachelorettes vying for a shot at public humiliation and Monday night gridiron action, you know ABC doesn't get "reality television."

And after Disney's (NYSE:DIS) network struggled through last year's Celebrity Mole and I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, you probably get the feeling that ABC doesn't know the definition of the word "celebrity" either.

The Mole concept is simple. Contestants have to figure out which player is trying to sabotage a company from the inside. Yes, the joke is obvious. How many of you declared Disney CEO Michael Eisner the Mole just now? Ha, ha. But the show's flawed premise worked far better in its first season when the contestants were ordinary citizens.

Reality television with celebrities is like Eddie Van Halen playing air guitar. What's the point? While the next installment of Viacom's (NYSE:VIA) Survivor will feature popular past contestants, it is still a ratings magnet because of the gradual discovery that unfolds when common characters are thrown into uncommon situations. Put on celebrities and every challenge comes with the prerequisite ego measure-sticking.

I know what you're thinking: General Electric (NYSE:GE) garners its biggest Fear Factor ratings on NBC when celebrities are on the menu. True, but that's a novelty that would tire if stretched to a full season.

Fox (NYSE:FOX) usually gets this. Time Warner's (NYSE:TWX) WB gets this, as long as you forgive it the travesty that is The Surreal Life. So what's Disney waiting for? Get real. Ratings really couldn't get much worse at this point, anyway. Right?

So, what are you watching in 2004? Are you still glued to reality television or is it too scripted for your personal tastes? Any good shows worth checking out? All this and more -- in the Television Banter discussion board. Only on Fool.com.