Tell the kid this is no way to start the New Year.

Today's first-quarter earnings release from Tommy Hilfiger (NYSE:TOM) shows a company that continues to slide. During a time when classic- and nouveau-preppy duds hawkers such as Gap (NYSE:GPS), American Eagle Outfitters (NASDAQ:AEOS), and Aeropostale (NYSE:ARO) are prospering despite a fickle retail public, Tommy is proving to be a major-league slacker.

Revenues slumped 11% compared with the prior-year quarter to $329 million. That's not only worse than the 1% slump the firm booked last quarter, it's worse than the 5% to 10% decline management projected a few months back.

The bottom line was similarly slim, showing red ink of $0.08 per share against the $0.11 profit -- $0.19 if you include the benefit of a legal settlement -- that Tommy eked out to kick off last year.

But worry not, investors. Management says that all is well, or at least not as bad as it looks. After all, European sales -- which make up not even a sixth of overall revenues -- were up about 37% (in constant dollars). And hey, at least inventories were down along with sales. Woo-hoo! That's like when the cops find your stolen car junked under a highway overpass but point out that the thieves were at least kind enough to leave behind your Creedence tapes.

Prospective investors should stay wary, or maybe away. Wholesale revenues, the biggest portion of sales, took the biggest dive, 20%. The Street greeted today's loss with a bit of enthusiasm, since it was somewhat better than expected. But until Tommy really turns things around, leave him off your dance card.

Fool contributor Seth Jayson feels sorry for Tommy, but he has no position in any firm mentioned. View his Fool profile here.