In theory, my former colleague, Rob, who's in his mid-60s, should be loving retirement. He's a social guy with many interests. He and his wife have hobbies they enjoy doing together. And while I couldn't tell you how much money he has in his 401(k), from what I can gather, it's not so much that he's trekking to the French Riviera three times a year, but it's enough that he's not stressing over egg prices.
When we met for lunch a few weeks ago, I asked how retirement was going. And while he hasn't been at it that long, so far, he's not thrilled.
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The truth is that Rob had wanted to keep working, but his wife pushed him to retire so they could spend more time together. But he wasn't shy to admit that playing pickleball and going to farmers markets isn't enough entertainment for him.
Rob runs every other morning and loves to cook, and he tries anchoring his days with these activities. But it's still a struggle to not get bored. And so while he wouldn't say he hates retirement per se, he does regret leaving his job.
I'm glad, for his sake, that he's not totally miserable in retirement. But there are some people who are. And if that's been your experience so far, it's time to get ahead of the problem.
Figure out the why
Some people may have trouble identifying what it is about retirement they're not happy with, since some issues are more obvious than others. If it's a lack of savings, that's a pretty easy thing to nail down.
But even if money isn't an issue, you may find that you're bored like my friend Rob, or that you feel like you no longer have a purpose (I suspect that's what's getting to him, too). Once you figure out why you're so unhappy, you can work toward solutions.
Address key retirement pain points
There are a few common reasons why older Americans end up unhappy in retirement. Let's review and them and find workarounds.
You're stressed about money
This is a hard one to fix, but it's not hopeless. Create a budget based on your current expenses and various income streams, like retirement plan withdrawals and Social Security. Then, before you try cutting back on spending, see if it's possible to boost your income. That may be an easier thing to do than reducing your expenses, and as a bonus, it's a way to keep busy.
Otherwise, find costs you can shed that won't make you miserable. You may be even more likely to get bored if you don't have your choice of streaming services to occupy your time. A better choice may be to downsize from two cars to one.
You have too many hours to fill
Boredom is a big problem for many retirees. If your days aren't filled enough, consider a job, even if you don't need the money. Otherwise, give yourself tasks and projects you wouldn't have had before. In Rob's case, he's taking it upon himself to try new and elaborate recipes -- not just because he likes to both cook and eat, but because it keeps him busier.
If cooking isn't your thing, take on a gardening project, or pledge to learn a new language. There are a lot of different things you can do to fill up hours in your day if you're willing to branch out.
You feel you've lost your purpose
It can be hard to cope with the loss of identity that often comes with ending a successful career. So think about whether you really need to end it.
Rob's going to look at consulting work to keep busy. You may be able to do the same, or find new work you find stimulating.
Also, don't discount the benefits of volunteering. Not only can you help your community or a worthy cause, but the feeling that you're making a difference could work wonders for your outlook and mental health.
There's no shame in admitting that you're struggling to adjust to your retirement lifestyle, or that you just plain aren't a fan of it. But don't resign yourself to being unhappy. Instead, figure out the root of the problem and take steps to tackle the issues that are lending to your dissatisfaction.
