It may feel like Mercury's in retrograde these days, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy some silliness with the stars. Remember, this is not meant to be investment advice, but just some Foolish fun for the week ahead.

Aries:
You look great today.

Taurus:
Your loyalty to what you believe is the best company ever is admirable; unfortunately, your friends are beginning to think that room in your house entirely dedicated to Berkshire Hathaway (NYSE:BRK-A) (NYSE:BRK-B) and Warren Buffett paraphernalia is just a little bit creepy, especially given the stock’s near 20% decline so far this year.

Gemini:
Your Jim Cramer impersonation goes over great at cocktail parties, until the screaming-and-breaking-things part begins.

Cancer:
Being a homebody doesn't make housing stocks a "buy." Sorry, Cancer.

Leo:
Things to avoid this week: fashion sense and escalators. (Yes, the stars know all about that whole thing with Crocs (NASDAQ:CROX), and they wonder if anyone will ever learn.)

Virgo:
You'll start talking up Church & Dwight, which will lead to some confusion as to whether you people have a wild side after all or not. Just keep harping on its diversified portfolio of brands.

Libra:
People just like you invented New Coca-Cola (NYSE:KO) and the Heely's (NASDAQ:HLYS) Gamer when Saturn was in the third house, just like it is now. So let’s maybe put aside all crazy inventions for another week, shall we?

Scorpio:
Nobody blames you for missing Pluto. But be careful not to drown your troubles in those wild penny stocks that get hyped in your email inbox.

Sagittarius:
You will slowly come to realize your complete inability to commit after your antics last weekend. You're not alone, though. See: Yahoo! (NASDAQ:YHOO).

Capricorn:
Just because your third syllable was at $7.99 a bushel last month doesn't mean you're all that.

Aquarius:
The dawning of the Age of Aquarius has long since come and gone -- have you ever thought of hedging that with Halliburton (NYSE:HAL)?

Pisces:
Everybody has a dream. Too bad yours didn't involve P/E ratios, solid balance sheets, or intelligent management teams. Nice going, Pisces.

Crocs is a Motley Fool Hidden Gems Pay Dirt pick. Coca-Cola and Berkshire are Motley Fool Inside Value selections. Berkshire is a Motley Fool Stock Advisor pick. The Fool owns shares of Berkshire. Try any of our Foolish newsletters today, free for 30 days.

Alyce Lomax is an Aries who doesn't own shares of any of the companies mentioned. The Fool has a disclosure policy.